My essays are built on an ongoing timeline and recurrent, deepening themes. You can navigate posts based on subject below. Posts in each section are listed in chronological order. Pieces with asterisks are core essays.
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The upcoming book.
Reorganism is a collection of interlocking essays documenting a theory of the development of my own mind in the years during and since a childhood spent in an abusive home. Chapters in this table are in no particular order. These essays are bound for book publication upon completion.
*All Available Forces to the Front Line—Summary
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Childhood and Trauma
*My Mother’s Shadow Sister—The origin story and cornerstone of this blog.
The Harbinger of Endings- A Letter to My Parents—This side of parental estrangement.
If You’d Known Me When I Was Older—An abstract essay on gratitude, and how some family systems weaponize it.
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Grief and Reverence
The Eulogy of the Man Who Always Came to My Rescue—The dedication I delivered at the funeral of my maternal grandfather, the person I credit most to showing me a different path.
*In Pursuit of Paradox—A piece on reconciling when multiple truths contradict each other.
The Torch—The story that was never written compelled me to commit to mine.
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Blog: Year One
Fog on the Harbor—On continuing to reach for more despite circumstance.
The Ghost of a Giant—The solo 465-mile ride to meet world-record-breaker Lael Wilcox.
Depths Too Dark—The breakdown of the Central Missouri Circuit 340.
A Foundation of Sand—On structural vulnerability, my first appearance as a speaker, and the introduction of the sword. Part I of a long runway into burnout.
The Edge—Part II.
My Power Grows—Part III.
I Bought Myself Flowers—Part IV.
Reactor No. 4—The human limit described through metaphor.
Step Up, or Step Off—A mantra, and an attempt at a bicycle rebound.
*Endogenous Rex—A very unusual race report from The Big Rub, and an experiment in watching the world, and myself, from a different angle.
A Letter to My Readers—In acknowledgement of a growing audience.
*We’ll Build That Bridge When We Get To It—The unfamiliar experience of community introduces itself.
The Closing Argument: Trans-Missouri 300—Part I of preparation for a solo cross-state record attempt.
We’re All Dirt: Trans-Missouri 300 Update—Part II.
Letters to Thanatos: A 300 Prelude—Part III.
And Thanatos Said, “You Shall Not Pass.”—Part IV.
Fire on the Ground Floor—Writing about my writing, and a statement of direction.
Take a Look at Yourself in the Sword—On the refusal to negotiate with those who cannot meet you where you are.
Cathedral Nouveau—Institutional barriers-of-entry, explored through allegory.
*What Are You Looking at Me For?—A conclusion to 2025, and accepting that being misunderstood wasn’t really about me.
Ring 0—The experience of an anomaly.
Solve for Y—The failure to compartmentalize.
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Blog: Year Two
Helm’s Over, Into the Channel—A metaphor about finding home in a city I found by chance.
*I will the machine.—The operating spine of my writing and worldview.
The Underground—Addressing my readers.
It Catches You, an Incredible, Ghostly Rider—The pursuit of the Mishigami Challenge, an 1100-mile race around Lake Michigan.
Status [Initializing], Status [Awaiting Response], Status [Handoff]—a series of real-time updates during the attempt to rebound for Mishigami (we didn’t ultimate get there.)
I Don’t Even Own a White Flag—How a “kind” gesture ruined my riding for nearly a year.
They Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night—A poem.
Part I: Gray Fox—The observer personality.
Part II: White Dragon—An allegory, then the reverse side of the observer coin.
Beware of Documentarian—I sat down and wrote when I was pissed off.
*To Speak Volumes—To write as often as I do means I am listening even moreso.
*The Bar—I asked for a job that meant something to me. I got it.
Daisies—This wrote itself.
For Whom the Bell Tolls: A Question of Tax and Tribulation for a Record Ride—A follow-up to Goin’ Up on a Tuesday, and a failed record attempt.
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Cultural and Behavioral Analysis/Commentary Through Narrative
Projection, Your Honor—On pattern tracking, discernment, and believing yourself when something feels off. A metaphorical courtroom where I outline a series of such cases in my past.
Goin’ Up on a Tuesday: A Question of Ethics and Advantage for a Record Ride—On the conditions and context of the new women’s Katy Trail fastest-known-time.
The Thoroughbred—On workplaces that require compliance over self-preservation.
The Rider—Part II of ‘The Thoroughbred,’ and how circumstantial restraints keep capable people in the wrong environments.
We Interrupt This Program—an observation of how many people respond to those who opt out of social interaction, and what it has to do with a Tour de France rider’s training crash.
Night Vision—An allegory inspired by Carl Jung’s concept of shadow, and a prelude to Chiaroscuro.
*Chiaroscuro—A narrative study of cognitive dissonance, mine included.
What Happens in Grandio City—On calling the bluff.
No Elephants Past This Point—The choice to not look at it doesn’t make it disappear.
Disinterest Rates—I’m a hard sell on just about anything.
Nobody’s Follower—How much is your life’s experience determined by the decisions of others? How often do you choose seperately?
In Lieu of Elaborate Metaphor—”So when I sit down across from another person for anything remotely as serious, I have this habit of pointing at the thing about you that I have a question about because I’m wondering if you have your reasons.”
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Profiles
The Ghost You Are Chasing is Behind You—Tycho Wagner’s road to ultra-cycling.
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Audio
Department of the Interior—discussing my reasoning process for publishing what I do.
You Can’t Tell Me S***—A podcast/audio essay series where I dissect the commonplace advice and mantras we’ve all heard.
