My essays are built on an ongoing timeline and recurrent, deepening themes. You can navigate posts based on subject below. Posts in each section are listed in chronological order. Pieces with asterisks are core essays.
_____
*All Available Forces to the Front Line—Project announcement.
_____
Childhood and Trauma
*My Mother’s Shadow Sister—The origin story and cornerstone of this blog.
The Harbinger of Endings- A Letter to My Parents—This side of parental estrangement.
If You’d Known Me When I Was Older—An abstract essay on gratitude, and how some family systems weaponize it.
_____
Grief and Reverence
The Eulogy of the Man Who Always Came to My Rescue—The dedication I delivered at the funeral of my maternal grandfather, the person I credit most to showing me a different path.
*In Pursuit of Paradox—A piece on reconciling when multiple truths contradict each other.
The Torch—The story that was never written compelled me to commit to mine.
_____
Blog: Year One
Fog on the Harbor—On continuing to reach for more despite circumstance.
The Ghost of a Giant—The solo 465-mile ride to meet world-record-breaker Lael Wilcox.
Depths Too Dark—The breakdown of the Central Missouri Circuit 340.
A Foundation of Sand—On structural vulnerability, my first appearance as a speaker, and the introduction of the sword. Part I of a long runway into burnout.
The Edge—Part II.
My Power Grows—Part III.
I Bought Myself Flowers—Part IV.
Reactor No. 4—The human limit described through metaphor.
Step Up, or Step Off—A mantra, and an attempt at a bicycle rebound.
*Endogenous Rex—A very unusual race report from The Big Rub, and an experiment in watching the world, and myself, from a different angle.
A Letter to My Readers—In acknowledgement of a growing audience.
*We’ll Build That Bridge When We Get To It—The unfamiliar experience of community introduces itself.
The Closing Argument: Trans-Missouri 300—Part I of preparation for a solo cross-state record attempt.
We’re All Dirt: Trans-Missouri 300 Update—Part II.
Letters to Thanatos: A 300 Prelude—Part III.
And Thanatos Said, “You Shall Not Pass.”—Part IV.
Fire on the Ground Floor—Writing about my writing, and a statement of direction.
Take a Look at Yourself in the Sword—On the refusal to negotiate with those who cannot meet you where you are.
Cathedral Nouveau—Institutional barriers-of-entry, explored through allegory.
*What Are You Looking at Me For?—A conclusion to 2025, and accepting that being misunderstood wasn’t really about me.
Ring 0—The experience of an anomaly.
_____
Blog: Year Two
Helm’s Over, Into the Channel—A metaphor about finding home in a city I found by chance.
*I will the machine.—The operating spine of my writing and worldview.
_____
Cultural and Behavioral Analysis Through Narrative
Projection, Your Honor—On pattern tracking, discernment, and believing yourself when something feels off. A metaphorical courtroom where I outline a series of such cases in my past.
Goin’ Up on a Tuesday: A Question of Ethics and Advantage for a Record Ride—On the conditions and context of the new women’s Katy Trail fastest-known-time.
The Thoroughbred—On workplaces that require compliance over self-preservation.
The Rider—Part II of ‘The Thoroughbred,’ and how circumstantial restraints keep capable people in the wrong environments.
We Interrupt This Program—an observation of how many people respond to those who opt out of social interaction, and what it has to do with a Tour de France rider’s training crash.
_____
Profiles
The Ghost You Are Chasing is Behind You—Tycho Wagner’s road to ultra-cycling.
I will the machine. 